


The Bunny Killed the Dinosaur

by Aeshiryzen



Series: Hit by the Nerd Express [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff, Karasuno, M/M, Out of Character, POV First Person, POV Tsukishima Kei, Romance, seniors
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-07-11 03:18:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7026364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aeshiryzen/pseuds/Aeshiryzen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As far as I was concern, he was that loud and tiny loser in the team who was bad at math.  I didn’t know what happened either, but he just came in my life and was stuck there. I din't know what happened, but he suddenly turned into that annoying tiny fucker who was quite good at some things but still bad at Math, who was kinda cool, and whom I would like to have lunch with, or share a stick of Popsicle with, or have paper conversations during class with… or fuck! Just anything! And that is how the bunny killed the dinosaur. That's how Hinata Shoyou killed me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Bunny Killed the Dinosaur

**Author's Note:**

> There isn't a complete plot yet for this. So far, I just have these ideas on how HinaTsuki will be on their senior year. Maybe OOC, but there should be changes in their personalities after years of being exposed to other volleyball dorks.

Interhigh was about to kick in – best times of the year, and I knew that this season would be the best in history. Why? Simply because I was the fucking captain this year. Our team had been preparing for this even before the school year started, and we couldn’t wait in all might to get into the court and get that landslide victory.

Spike! Block! More blocks! And dominate!

Actually, we would have our first game in two weeks. I may not admit it aloud or to anyone, but I knew for sure that I could feel all the overflowing adrenaline in my system. Yeah, heard that right, losers. I, the aloof and too-cool-to-put-any-effort Tsukishima Kei, had come at this point where I was passionate into something. But well, people change, and this one took a whole year of self-denial and anger issues until I could totally accept to myself, that yes, I indeed like volleyball, and yes I want to win every volleyball match that I am in. It still does not mean that I will act like a barbarian in expressing my fondness of the sport though – none of those unnecessary shouts or stupid grins. It’s still, the cool and calculating Tsukishima Kei.

Everything was set out and I was pretty sure I was damn prepared to make a bunch of losers cry and hide in their mother’s skirts, except for one glitch. I knew for sure that my team and I were more than ready to take on the championship this season. However, this minor glitch just had to happen that I needed to do a detour in this place where all fuckers of all varieties unite, or I would not be able to give my A-game for every volleyball match. 

When your volleyball shoes suddenly turned into Elmo from Sesame Street, it was only expected for any person with a Homo sapiens level IQ to get a new pair of functional sports footwear. You could not expect me to wear a puppet while I was in court, with its mouth opening and closing and my toes peeping out with my every step. Only imbecilic idiots like McDonalds would attempt to present themselves like some nutcase dozed in Red Bull and marijuana.

The mall was full of losers – it was always crowding with losers. The place was like one Anthropological magnet, a social central nervous system that draws and connects a large scale of assholes and whores from every stratified community in town, from pregnant emos, to gay flashers, to hipster hobos. Even puppies and kittens were in this loser town. All it needed were a bunch of ancient trolls and electrode dragons and it would have everything.

Okay, enough with the mall tour. The priority at hand is to get a sturdy pair of functional shoes with an outer sole that is made of good quality rubber that could withstand excessive friction; a synthetic mesh on its upper portion to provide lighter weight and ventilation; equipped with reinforcements for durability; insole made of ethylene vinyl acetate; and something that will perfectly fit my feet. 

The fucking hell! Just when I was quite sure that I would have a more peaceful stroll in this place, a wet substance was flowing in my back. And it was fucking cold, literally sending shivers in my spine and making me jolt with the sudden contact on that low temperature. I sneered knowing precisely what was behind me. There was only one person slash dumb bird in this universe that had the audacity to put any harm on me.

I turned around and was not surprised to see a bunny looking guy, not to mention tiny, with messy orange hair holding a bottle of ice cold purified water. He was shamelessly proud showing right in my face that he was the culprit on that drench flow at the back of my shirt.

“Why did you leave me?” Hinata demanded, like his pesky anger and high pitched childish voice could bring me down to my knees. 

He looked at me with eyes narrowed closer to a squint with his mouth curved downward with a rather sharp obtuse. In short, he looked like an angry Chansey with a the facial structure of a Tanuki. That’s the best description you will get, not gonna baby feed you with more details, use you own imagination for this. If you can’t, I suggest that you fuckers consider brain transplant because you might need a functioning one.

Okay fine, I admit, I was partially to blame why Chansey-Tanuki here was suddenly blazing fire of rage in his head. I guess it was not really nice to leave the dipshit. But I seriously could not stand staying in that hellhole anymore! It was entirely a different world out there with things that even my imagination could not reach. If I stay one more second, I swear, I was going to lose my eyesight because of the radioactive particles called hideousness. So I bounced, with a whim.

“You were taking too long looking at those ugly figurines.”

“They are not figurines, dumbass!” He yelped defensively. He called me dumbass? That dipshit, having been exposed to the King’s presence had probably made him pick-up a rather questionable word to broaden his very limited vocabulary. I still couldn’t decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing. 

The brat was always very defensive when it came to his collection of ugly figurines of some intergalactic zombies diagnosed with hydrocephalus and super hybrids of Lacertilla, molluscs and boogymen. “They are called action figures, you should know the difference.” 

“Action figures, figurine, hideous dwarfs that were turned into plastics, who gives a shit. I did not come here to see any of those little toys. I came for a new pair of shoes.”

“Hey! It does not mean that you kidnapped me here, that everything we do here is all about you!”

“I did not kidnap you!”

That little fucker, blabbering some false accusation on me. No, I did not kidnap him or threatened his life to come with me. I just went to their house and picked up the creature without notice. I told him to hurry up, and that we were going shoe-shopping. The brat was bickering like a chirpy chicken being burn in the skillet alive. But that was expected. He always bickers, say things that I had ruined his planned activities for the day, that he should had more fun staying at his house watching cartoons. But honestly, I was definitely not forcing the dude, maybe I was, but he still came.

Bunny plushies would probably talk when they were the receiving end of such cruelty. Usually they did not because they are plushies, they don’t talk! But oh boy, not my bunny, it did not only spout incomprehensive phrases and sentences, but its tongue was as sharp as knife, with mouth that had endurance of an Armalite rifle.

“You did! You just showed up, and forcefully dragged me here.” Oh here comes the speech. “I hate how you ruined my plans. I should be home by now watching cartoons, and I probably would have been happier.” See? Predictable Hinata is predictable.

“It’s not like you are tied or your mouth is covered.”

“But it does not still make everything all about you.”

I gave him a feral smirk, “You know that this trip is all about me, little Hinata.” 

Hinata’s eyes narrowed, “You are the bastard of the century. You know that right?”

The smirk in my face intensified as I stated with pride, “The finest bastard you could find.” 

He sighed, and I knew that I won this dialogue. I usually did. The little fucker had a tongue as sharp as a kitchen knife, but well mine was a samurai sword.

“Come on let’s buy your shoes,” he said nonchalantly. 

And before I knew it, the little fucker got a grab of my wrist. Was he dragging me now? Well, that was a rare occurrence. Usually it was I who did the dragging, simply because I was the boss. But honestly, I didn’t really mind being dragged by him either, unless I was in the middle of a volleyball game, or when I was sleeping. He’s holding my hand, so who was I to complain. 

When we arrived at the shop, Hinata let go of my wrist and his eyes immediately lit up. The shop we went wasn’t exactly a shoe shop but a big sports shop that sells all types of sports equipment. Hinata was an alien-loving cartoons addict, but he was also one volleyball maniac. For someone who was bickering and scowling for being dragged, now he was acting like some Chowchow with a sugar rush. 

So that’s how Hinata Shoyou suddenly disappeared somewhere in the store possessed by the ghost of Willy Wonka, and then suddenly appearing in front of me with a pair of colorful socks straight from Cartoon Network. 

“You got something, huh?”

“Why? Are you jealous?” Who in the right mind would want some kiddy stuff? Only little fuckers dig that rubbish. Well, Hinata was a little fucker.

“Aren’t you afraid of wolves?”

“The cartoons version was harmless and cute. But I still don’t like the real ones. They are nasty.”

“The real ones are better.” I said and Hinata grimaced before disappearing again.

I started walking through the store looking for the shoes section and let Hinata wander. I knew he could act like some stupid toddler stuck in a teenager’s body; but he could take care of himself. And I was not here to babysit the midget.

Just some few turns I was able to locate the section that I was looking for. I stared carefully at the shelves where the shoes were displayed. I don’t want to act like a girl when shopping, chicks most of the time were nitpicky when buying their clothes, or buying in general. Any person could easily grab an item then pay for it, but instead, fickle female humans have to look into every detail, ask every person, insist a bargain, and all those girly bullshits that makes a simple task as buying a pair of slippers last to infinity when it could be done in a whim.

Even so, my volleyball shoes were exemption to the rule. I was a healthy high school student who was into sports, and dudes of our kind had the tendency to treat sports games like they were worth five lifetimes. 

The game season should go smoothly, everything had to be perfect. I was just that kind of guy, always doing the best preparations, a bit perfectionist – so no slacking off and underestimating the power of shoes or everything in the court. I would not even underestimate the power of the net. In a battlefield, overconfidence and irresponsibility could be one’s downfall. So better be prepared in anything that might befall you, or else…

“Tsukishima! Buy this one!” Hinata yelped holding a shoe. Great, the midget suddenly appeared from nowhere, and he appeared with that big kiddy grin too. Swear, this fucker is fucking Hudini. 

I took the shoe out of his hand and examined it, looking through its sides. Not exactly my kind of design. It’s a bit flashy for my taste. I am rather minimalistic. Forget what I said, I was only trying to be nice, in my honest opinion, the shoe that the midget had brought me was the fruit of the marriage of squirrels shitting rainbows and rubber scraps jammed in a metal junkyard.

“What sort of crap is this? It looks like Optimus Prime!” And not the one in the live movie with Megan Fox and that dude with the big nose that had a hole as big as Vredefort Crater. 

“It’s not crap! It’s very cool,” Hinata announced defensively. “You will look cool when you wear it. That’s why you need to buy this.” The midget was sprouting all sorts of hysterical hogwash, like always.

“The base is slippery. It’s rather heavy too.”

“But you will look cool when you wear this on court!” 

What the fuck? The little fucker was really into this shoe. “Don’t tell me that coolness and looking like a cartoon robot is your basis in buying your shoes?”

There was silence from the midget, and in a second, he showed me a guilty grin. So the little bunny admitted his defective ways. At least he had the presence of mind to be completely fucking ashamed about the fact that he had nutcase ways. I know that Hinata was not your ordinary little fucker. He was after all, the most fucked up among all the fuckers I had encountered, but sometimes, his line of thoughts still puts me on a critical state of bewilderment. And to make things even worse, Hinata’s personal concept of what cool was like the deep of the great shit-wreck of Wasteland Sea. 

Hinata snatched the shoes, “Well, I guess it is pretty youthful for your taste. It’s something like a boring guy like you would not understand.” Boring? More like mature and smart. The nerve of this bunny!

“Better than a premature baby who has a brain of a kitty and energy of a hummingbird.” Can’t help it, I had an acute disease of smartass since birth. And no, I would not seek any medication. I love myself this way.

“Are you trying to ignore my opinions? What sort of charade is this? Bringing me all the way here and being treated like this!” 

“Shut up! I didn’t bring you here to pick shoes for me! All you need to do is stand in the corner or wander off in the store and frenzy on some socks with animated prints of wildlife, and not to meddle with my business!”

I was pretty sure that the brat would spat some nonsense, something along the lines of ‘you are mean, bully, bastard,’ same old sissy shits the midget was always sprouting.

He was looking down at the shoe in his hand. “Tsukishima, you really didn’t like it?” His voice was low and sad. He sounded, upset. Fuck! I now have a clear idea where would this be heading.

So I made him upset. So that made me the bad guy. Again. Was he gonna cry? Please don’t cry. If he cried, that made me more of a bad guy than I currently was. Although I really don’t mind being bad, but still… 

Looking at him again, I was pretty sure that he would not cry. Well, that was a relief. But damn! God of motherfucking! I knew that I would not see any tears, but why the heck was he showing that face?! He looked like some lost kid, and his kitty died in a painful and bloody death. To think that he would be this upset just because of Optimus Prime. I meant the shoe was not even a kitty.

“So you really didn’t like it after all.” Seeing him like this for some unexplainable reason made me feel all this... It couldn’t be guilt. I meant, it was not my fault that he was all black cloud all of the sudden. I had to say something, something that could make all the dark clouds disappear; but it was easier thought than done. I was left tongue-tied and could not even bring a word out of my mouth. “It’s okay Tsukishima. I just want to help you with your shoes. I know how much they mean to you, and yet, I just made you mad.”

No it was not okay. I was so in big trouble. Why did he go on reacting in exhibit B scenario, when there was exhibit B. Hinata can’t do this to me now. He shouldn’t act so sincere and pure with his intentions and accompany this sincerity with a catastrophic means. There was no other person in the world could make me feel bad like I was the most worthless shit, piled in some worthless dumpshit, and being shitty and at being shit, but this... I don’t even want to admit it. To think that I would end up in this situation like this because of that expression, and these all happened because of Optimus Prime. Fuck my life!

I would not fall for it. I would not fall for it. I would definitely fall for it!

I snatched the colorful shoe from Hinata’s grasp. I walked to the nearest store employee. 

“Give me the largest size for this style.”

So the mighty Tsukishima Kei had fallen.

When I looked at Hinata again, he was grinning like a maniac showing his puppy-like teeth. “I know! You are just pretending that you did not like them.”

“Shut up!”

I still could not believe that I bought that. Was it a bad idea to bring him? But why was I suddenly smiling to myself by simply looking at his happy face instead of grieving because I just signed myself to my public execution by buying that pair of ‘footwear of abomination’? Damn, I’m so fucked.


End file.
